Dallas Cowboys save the day...

Saturday was scary...Dramatic man caused climate change could no longer be denied. What could stop this new man caused ice age? Where was I going to run when they came after me with torches and pitchforks?

Who would save the world?...and then the impossible happened.

The suck ass Dallas Cowboys beat the undefeated New Orleans Saints Saturday night against million to one odds.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

Jerry Jones is our savior. Praise the Jones.

You guys have lived in San Antonio. You know how antiquated we are here.

Heck, 99% of the people still call the Winter Holiday "Christmas" and at least half the town celebrates the season with tamales and beans. The tamale factories have been working overtime for weeks getting ready. These tamale feasts typically are staggered throughout the holiday limiting and balancing the ecological ramifications.

The miraculous Cowboy victory caused almost a million people to break out the tamales and beans and Bud light simultaneously in joyous celebration. The consequential and inevitable result of this gluttony was a massive and virtually simultaneous release of global warming gas which rushed straight to Rossville and restored the fragile global eco-balance.

The tipping point was untipped!

Praise the Jones. Long live the Cowboys.